Physical Activity

I read two posts today from moms comparing older daughters and younger sons – and in both cases the girls come off as easy and docile while the boys are aggressive and physical.

I’ve noticed that moms very often vastly underestimate the amount of physical activity their kids need and they think there is something wrong with their kids when what they really need is many more hours of physical activity.

My siblings and I played outdoors from morning ’til night, as kids. We ran and jumped and tumbled and skated and biked and climbed and dug and chased and roughhoused like crazy. I also spent many hours in water almost every single day during the summer.

On school days I walked/ran to and from school, had at least two recesses, a class physical education time (we played games like Capture the Flag, dodgeball, and Red Rover Red Rover), and a lunch break (I ran home for lunch and back quickly to spend time playing on the playground), and we had NO homework so the minute I got home from school I changed into pants/shorts because girls had to wear dresses to school in those days and ran back outside to play with neighborhood kids. Play consisted very largely of hide-and-seek, kick-the-can, stickball, kickball, a wide variety of tag games, mother-may-I, lemonade, red light green light, duck duck goose, and a TON of hopscotch. I roller skated and rode my bike and we had rudimentary skateboards (we took apart our skates and nailed them to boards). We had pogo sticks and slip-n-slides and hula hoops. We often went over to the school playground and played on the equipment – rings, slides, swings. We played foursquare a lot. My neighbor had a trampoline and we bounced and bounced and bounced.

Nearly every evening of my childhood I was physically worn out – very grubby and tired and ready to have some dinner, a bath, watch a little tv, have some stories or have mom or dad sing to us kids, maybe play with my sisters with dolls or something for a little while and often fall asleep reading a book.

And “I” was a fairly sedentary kid compared to many! I was a bookworm kid who loved board and card games.

Children haven’t changed – their physical needs haven’t changed – since the 50′s or 60′s. Some kids need more and others need less physical activity, but when a parent thinks a kid is “hyper” or “bounces off the walls” or complains about a kid’s aggressive behaviors and so on –  the parent probably has no idea the sheer quantity of physically strenuous activity that that child needs.

People these days will say, “He’s got soccer 3 days a week,” as if that is supposed to give him enough opportunity for physical activity. First, I love soccer for many kids, but it is a structured-by-adults activity in which a child has to control his physical urges for much of the time. He has to wait, stand in line, use the part of his body he is supposed to use. It is not at all the same as structured-by-the-kids-themselves play. And, a few hours a week is completely inadequate for most kids as an energy burn off. They more likely need a few hours every day.

Yes, kids are different. Not all kids want or need a lot of physical activity. Some will climb a tree and sit up on a branch and read a book for hours – not hang and swing and jump and balance. But ONLY the child can really know how much physical activity he or she needs and the child can only figure that out in the context of having plentiful free and unstructured time for it.

Boys, on the average, need even greater amounts of strenuous physical activity than girls. That they tend to be more aggressive has to do with hormones they experience even in the womb. Again – there is a big range and some girls have greater physical needs than some boys and vice versa – but moms seem to very often have a hard time with how physical their little boys are. The same can be true for moms of girls who happen to have extremely high physical energy needs.

Sometimes dads help the moms understand their boys’ physical needs, but when dads are busy working all day and it is mom who is home with the kids, boys can end up not getting their needs met and moms end up thinking there is something wrong with their little boys.

Of course all of this is made much worse by school, where all kids are expected to sit still much of the time. But homeschooling moms can have unrealistic expectations, too. And I think many of their sons suffer for it (and some of their daughters, too).

Secondary Course of Study

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~The World is Our Classroom~
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ACME Academy

Course of Study
Secondary Students 

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ACME Academy is a private full-time day school established in compliance with the Education Code of the State of California. Because we believe that the family is the most fundamental social institution and the preferred means of caring for, preparing, and training children to be productive members of society, ACME Academy promotes and supports a family-centered education through our independent study program. At ACME Academy, independent study, in which children learn primarily under the immediate direction, guidance, and support of their parents and other caring and involved adults, offers an outstanding educational opportunity by providing a natural learning environment, extensive real-world experience, flexibility of schedule, and the ability to respond to the specific needs and inclinations of the child. Each ACME student’s program is developmentally appropriate, integrated and fully individualized, and continually built upon student strengths and interests throughout the year.

English: 
ACME students will develop knowledge of, and appreciation for literature and the language, as well as the skills of speaking, reading, listening, spelling, handwriting, and composition.

Students will read from self-chosen or parent-chosen literature on a regular basis and will engage in reflection on those literature pieces in a variety of ways, such as: journal writing, book reviews, conversations, drama based on the books, book clubs. Our educational goal is for ACME students to read for pleasure, to gain exposure to a wide variety of genres, and to be able to reflect critically on what they read.

Students will read content-related non-fiction materials to support their chosen areas of interest. They will reflect on these pieces in a variety of ways, such as: journal writing, writing articles for submission to magazines or newspapers, discussions, or development of a scrapbook in an area of interest. Our goal is for ACME students to learn to read critically for information, to understand and be able to reflect on materials read, to be able to compare them to other sources of information, and to learn how and where to find written resources as needed.

Writing, spelling and grammar will be covered as part of ACME studentsí natural writing processes. Students will develop their ability to write creatively, to write letters and lists, to create and write drama pieces, informational essays, persuasive articles, etc. Our goal is for ACME students to enjoy writing, to gain expertise in both the writing process and in technical writing and editing skills, and to develop a sense of power over the written word.

Science: 
ACME students will develop their scientific knowledge with emphasis on basic concepts, theories, and processes of scientific investigation and on the place of humans in ecological systems, and with appropriate applications of the interrelation and interdependence of the sciences. These will be related to areas of special student interest by engaging in hands-on activities, watching science videos, reading related written materials, conducting scientific experiments, keeping journals, making and recording observations, visiting scientists in their work places, visiting local science museums, participating in science fairs and workshops, or through cooperative learning. Our goal is for ACME students to experience a wide range of scientific exposure in their areas of interest, to develop a positive interest in science, to learn to think scientifically, to develop a respect for the work scientists do, and to understand the importance science has in daily life.

Social Studies: 
ACME students will develop their understanding of the social sciences and humanities by reading and discussing fiction and non-fiction materials, participating in field trips to historic and politically or culturally significant sites, or through discussion and debate. Anthropology, economics, psychology, geography, history, political science, and sociology are fully integrated into the students studies in a wide variety of ways, such as: the use of time lines and maps, discussion, journal writing, cooking, plays, road trips, invention building, field trips, and art. Our goal is for ACME students to develop a foundation for understanding the history, resources, development, and government of California and the United States of America; the American legal system; the operation of the juvenile and adult criminal justice systems and the rights and duties of citizens under the criminal and civil law and the State and Federal constitutions; the development of the American economic system including the role of the entrepreneur and labor; the relations of persons to their human and natural environment; eastern and western cultures and civilizations; human rights issues, with particular attention to the study of the inhumanity of genocide, slavery, and the Holocaust; and contemporary issues including the wise use of natural resources.

Health and Physical Education: 
Health and physical education will be fully integrated as a part of daily living skills and participation in the wider community. Students will learn to care for their health and physical environment in a variety of ways, such as: shopping for and preparing food, discussing the necessity of a healthy diet, participation in fire drills and other emergency preparedness activities, exercise both as play and as part of a structured group experience and through camping, hiking, and other outdoor activity. Our goal is for ACME students to appreciate the necessity of a healthy body and to develop lifelong habits of regular exercise and good nutrition.

Applied Arts and Vocation/Technical Education: 
Consumer and homemaker education, industrial arts, general business education, and general agriculture will be offered in a variety of ways. Studentsí interests will determine the direction of their applied arts and vocation projects, which may include apprenticeships, mentorships, or specific training. Our goal is for ACME students to develop skills and knowledge to meet their own future vocational and avocational requirements.

Visual and Performing Arts: 
ACME students will develop their knowledge of art, music, and drama through informal and structured methods in a variety of ways, such as: art classes, instrumental lessons, choral singing, listening to various styles of music, learning about the people who have influenced music through history, or working on individualized or group projects that relate to music, art, and drama, including acting and performing in a variety of venues and genres. Our goal is for ACME students to enjoy a wide variety of art, music, and drama experiences, including performance, while developing an understanding and appreciation of the importance of art, music, and drama as creative expressions of human life experiences.

Mathematics: 
ACME students will develop mathematical concepts, operational skills, and problem solving through participation in daily real-world activities such as cooking, building, shopping, budgeting, computing, etc. Mathematics materials will be chosen to support studentsí individual learning styles in order to achieve competency in operational skills and insight into problem-solving procedures. Our goal is for ACME students to gain a strong conceptual knowledge of mathematics as well as an appreciation for the daily applications of mathematics in their lives.

Automobile Driver Education: 
ACME students will be offered the opportunity to develop the knowledge and skills necessary to become safe drivers.

Foreign Language: 
Students will have the opportunity to develop understanding, speaking, reading, and writing skills in a foreign language of their choice.

Parenting Skills: 
ACME students will acquire parenting skills primarily through first-hand interaction with, and observation of, young children and through direct adult instruction in skills and knowledge including: effective parenting, prevention of child abuse, nutrition, household finances and budgeting, personal and family interactions and relations, methods to promote self-esteem, effective decision-making skills, family and individual health, child growth and development, parental responsibilities, personal hygiene, maintenance of healthy relationships, and teen-parenting issues.

Elementary Course of Study

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~The World is Our Classroom~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ACME Academy

Course of Study
Elementary Students 

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ACME Academy is a private full-time day school established in compliance with the Education Code of the State of California. Because we believe that the family is the most fundamental social institution and the preferred means of caring for, preparing, and training children to be productive members of society, ACME Academy promotes and supports a family-centered education through our independent study program.

At ACME Academy, independent study, in which children learn primarily under the immediate direction, guidance, and support of their parents and other caring and involved adults, offers an outstanding educational opportunity by providing a natural learning environment, extensive real-world experience, flexibility of schedule, and the ability to respond to the specific needs and inclinations of the child. Each ACME student’s program is developmentally appropriate, integrated and fully individualized, and continually built upon student strengths and interests throughout the year.

English:
ACME students will develop knowledge of, and appreciation for literature and the language, as well as the skills of speaking, reading, listening, spelling, handwriting, and composition.

Students will read from self-chosen or parent-chosen literature on a regular basis and will engage in reflection on those literature pieces in a variety of ways, such as: journal writing, book reviews, conversations, drama based on the books, book clubs. Our educational goal is for ACME students to read for pleasure, to gain exposure to a wide variety of genres, and to be able to reflect critically on what they read.

Students will read content-related non-fiction materials to support their chosen areas of interest. They will reflect on these pieces in a variety of ways, such as: journal writing, writing articles for submission to magazines or newspapers, discussions, or development of a scrapbook in an area of interest. Our goal is for ACME students to learn to read critically for information, to understand and be able to reflect on materials read, to be able to compare them to other sources of information, and to learn how and where to find written resources as needed.

Writing, spelling and grammar will be covered as part of ACME students’ natural writing processes. Students will develop their ability to write creatively, to write letters and lists, to create and write drama pieces, informational essays, persuasive articles, etc. Our goal is for ACME students to enjoy writing, to gain expertise in both the writing process and in technical writing and editing skills, and to develop a sense of power over the written word.

Science: 
ACME students will develop their knowledge of the biological and physical sciences, with emphasis on the processes of experimental inquiry and on the place of humans in ecological systems. They will relate these to areas of specific student interests by engaging in hands-on activities, watching science videos, reading related written materials, conducting scientific experiments, keeping journals, making and recording observations, visiting scientists in their work places, visiting local science museums, participating in science fairs and workshops, and through cooperative learning. Our goal is for ACME students to experience a wide range of scientific exposure, to develop a positive interest in science, to learn to think scientifically, to develop a respect for the work scientists do, and to understand the importance science has in daily life and in the overall environment.

Social Sciences:
ACME students will develop their understanding of the social sciences and humanities by reading and discussing fiction and non-fiction materials, participating in field trips to historic and politically or culturally significant sites, or through discussion and debate. Anthropology, economics, psychology, geography, history, political science, and sociology are fully integrated into the students studies in a wide variety of ways, such as: the use of time lines and maps, discussion, journal writing, cooking, plays, road trips, invention building, field trips, and art. Our goal is for ACME students to develop a foundation for understanding the history, resources, development, and government of California and the United States of America; the development of the American economic system including the role of the entrepreneur and labor; the relations of persons to their human and natural environment; eastern and western cultures and civilizations; and contemporary issues including the wise use of natural resources.

Health and Physical Education: 
Health and physical education will be fully integrated as a part of daily living skills and participation in the wider community with an emphasis upon the physical activities that my be conducive to health and vigor of body and mind. Students will learn to care for their health and physical environment in a variety of ways, such as: shopping for and preparing food, discussing the necessity of a healthy diet, participation in fire drills and other emergency preparedness activities, exercise both as play and as part of a structured group experience and through camping, hiking, and other outdoor activity. Our goal is for ACME students to appreciate the necessity of a healthy body and to develop lifelong habits of regular exercise and good nutrition.

Visual and Performing Arts:
ACME students will develop their knowledge of art, music, and drama through informal and structured methods in a variety of ways, such as: art classes, instrumental lessons, choral singing, listening to various styles of music, learning about the people who have influenced music through history, or working on individualized or group projects that relate to music, art, and drama, including acting and performing in a variety of venues and genres. Our goal is for ACME students to enjoy a wide variety of art, music, and drama experiences, including performance, while developing an understanding and appreciation of the importance of art, music, and drama as creative expressions of human life experiences.

Mathematics: 
ACME students will develop mathematical concepts, operational skills, and problem solving through participation in daily real-world activities such as cooking, building, shopping, budgeting, computing, etc. Mathematics materials will be chosen to support students’ individual learning styles in order to achieve competency in operational skills and insight into problem-solving procedures. Our goal is for ACME students to gain a strong conceptual knowledge of mathematics as well as an appreciation for the daily applications of mathematics in their lives.

 

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Training is Tricky

Sue Patterson, who has taken up the Unschooling Blog Carnival along with Cydney Romano, has been bugging me to write a blog post about their next month’s theme, which is “Animals.” I’ve been uninspired in spite of the fact that our family has a new dog, Persie, a small, female mixed terrier we rescued in late December from the city animal shelter. (She is named after Robin Van Persie, the soccer player, by the way.)

I think my lack of inspiration might be because the connection between unschooling and animals is almost too obvious. I mean, animals and unschooling seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly. Yes, of course, you can have one without the other – but boy, oh boy, are they good together!

Still, I don’t feel very inspired to write about all the great things kids learn from interacting with animals. I thought I could write about Rosie’s years of intense involvement with horses. Or, maybe Roxana’s deep deep love for all things related to cats would be interesting. I could talk about Roya swimming out in the ocean among the dolphins and where that kind of experience has brought her today. These interests led from one thing to another and resulted in a tremendous wealth of opportunities for learning all kinds of things.

But, right now, we have a new one-year-old dog and we’re taking her to “puppy school.” So I’m immersed in thoughts of “training” and positive reinforcement. And I can’t help considering how this kind of dog training compares to how our children grew up. People sometimes talk about unschooling their dog. I think by that they mean they are kind and generous and give a lot of freedom to their pet and the dog learns without formal training. The instructors at our puppy classes might be a little surprised to discover how sweet a dog can be and how much it can learn if given appropriate and accurate feedback, but not formal behaviorist training.  But I think this approach applies to some breeds far more than others. Our instructors are very into positive reinforcement – training dogs to do tricks using treats as rewards. I keep imagining training our children that way, thinking how silly it seems, and then I remember that this IS the way many people think of raising children. Well, many use negative reinforcement (punishment) and the more enlightened use positive rewards instead of negative consequences. This is the reason for gold stars and stickers and free pizza for reading 15 minutes a day and so on.

Of course, dogs DO respond to incentives, and so do people. Our instructors’ dogs are trained to do over 200 tricks. Could I, or would I want to, say the same about my children? If want my dog to sit and stay on command, I can train her to do that. It takes time, but it isn’t at all hard. I just have to keep rewarding successive approximations of what I want her to do and, eventually, she’ll do it when I tell her to do it. This is behavior shaping and it can work on people, too. Why not train our kids like we train dogs?

The answer is that we want more from our children than instant obedience, we want them to learn to use judgment and take initiative and, well, think for themselves. Training them with rewards may seem positive and at least better than using threats and punishments. It may seem easy and may get short-term results. But, good strong human relationships do not develop between parents and children when parents treat children like pets who need to be trained.

And yet, people do respond to incentives and behaviors do have consequences. Sometimes people say they are using “logical” or “natural” consequences to teach their children. These are typically euphemisms for a form of punishment – a way to “negatively reinforce” certain behaviors. This is the flip side of reward training. If a child leaves a toy outdoors and it begins to rain, the parent may call it a natural or logical consequence to leave the toy outdoors to be ruined. I call it mean and that is exactly what the child will think of it.

Is there an alternative? Yes. Relationship-based parenting is living in a household with each person giving and getting what they need, including support and encouragement and information. Parents take responsibility for being kind and generous with their children while their  their children are growing into kind and responsible people, themselves. The parents do this by BEING kind and generous and responsible with their children. Children learn what they live with. Parents should also give good, clear, and accurate information to help their kids understand how the world works, but they can do that while being kind and helpful, they don’t have to create opportunities for negative lessons to be learned. “I brought your doll in out of the rain; I dried her off and I think she’ll be okay,” versus “You left your doll out in the rain after I’d told you 10 times to bring her in. It is your responsibility and I warned you so I left her there and now she’s ruined.” The first parent has just helped her child along the road to learning thoughtfulness, care of property, and kindness. The second parent has modeled irritation, impatience, and cold-heartedness. Which will the child learn?

Children are not pets to be trained, but young humans to be loved and guided with compassion and kindness. My dog seems to be enjoying her puppy school training sessions. She’s excited and eager. But my children would have felt manipulated, insulted, and controlled and would NOT have responded well.

Do you remember “Silly Pet Tricks?” I hate to mention it, because someone might take me up on it, but I can easily imagine a tv reality show called, “Silly Kid Tricks,” where parents are taught to use positive reinforcement to shape a child into doing some foolish-looking behavior.  Let’s not go there. Let’s love and share and model and live our lives with our children and avoid trying to manipulate them into doing tricks for us.

Careful Planning and Instruction? No Thanks!

The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) got me thinking back in the 1980s when they were strongly against early academic, and especially early reading, instruction. I took their arguments to heart, and my own young children freely played their way through their preschool years and were not given any type of early instruction. Instead, we created a rich and stimulating environment in which they could learn through play, experimentation, exploration, investigation, collaboration, and doing what brought them joy. And they learned. A lot. There was no stopping them. After that, school was a big disappointment. The very idea of school is that someone (usually some committee of experts) decides what, when, and how children should learn, and eventually the requirements filter down to a classroom where a teacher tries to inspire, cajole, or flat-out force the kids into learning it. WHAT a difference from the way my children had been learning until then!

My own thinking about learning was firmly rooted in the radical ideas of John Holt and A.S. Neill, both of whom I’d read before I ever had any children of my own.  Both argued for supporting children’s learning without curriculum, lessons, or other imposed-from-above methods by offering real-life experiences and encouragement and assistance to a child pursuing his/her own interests. I had managed to get my children into an cutting-edge public school which had ungraded classrooms and an unusual amount of freedom for students. There were no tests and no grades. Classrooms had learning centers and children were free to move around the room, working on activities of their own choice for much of the day.

So what was wrong? Why did I continue to be so dissatisfied with the schooling my children were receiving? Even while I spent my time volunteering at the school, working in the classroom, running PTA events, promoting “teacher appreciation” and school spirit, I was disappointed with the way my children were being educated. There were good times and bad, but, overall, I thought it was stifling, and I could see that it was slowly, but surely, dulling the children’s initial bright-eyed curiosity.

And then we simply stopped doing school. We pulled the kids out of formal school and we stopped worrying at all about lessons, teaching, curriculum, assessment. We focused on creating a joy-filled and stimulating family life in which the children could discover and follow their interests. They watched, read, listened, played, built, created, explored, investigated, experimented and learned. They talked and wrote and sang at the tops of their voices throughout the day. We spent days outdoors at the beach, in the woods, hiking, swimming, and relaxing. We spent days cocooned in the house, cooking and playing games. Life happened. Learning happened.

Now they are grown. And, maybe surprisingly in light of our unconventional choices, they are quite successful in very conventional ways including work, college, relationships, and hobbies. All three are leaders in their communities. They turned out just fine, thank you very much!

The NAEYC, which inspired me so much at the beginning of my parenting journey, seems to have moved in a different direction. In their position paper, “Where We Stand on Learning to Read and Write,” they state, “Children do not become literate automatically; careful planning and instruction are essential.”* I could not disagree more. Children DO become literate automatically in the same way they learned to walk and speak automatically, if they are given the opportunity. Careful planning and instruction are totally unnecessary and can do far more harm than good. What children (of all ages) need is a rich and stimulating environment with caring adults who engage with them and support them. A rich and active home life with attentive parents and books, games, music, conversation, and socializing among people of all ages, is ideal. Ideal!

Yes, in today’s society, most children will continue to go to school. But it is NOT ideal for young humans to learn in crowded classrooms with 20 or 30 other same-age children and one adult providing lessons decided on by committees who don’t even know these particular children. It could be made better, however, if the NAEYC and other professional organizations would put their focus back on how children naturally learn. Children who learn in a rich and supportive environment do not need to be constantly assessed and tested, for example. Children naturally challenge themselves.  They don’t want to be bored or frustrated – they want to learn.  If adults are paying attention and are responsive to children’s expressed interests, they will automatically provide appropriately challenging activities. When curriculum is planned somewhere else and imposed on children, it is almost certainly inappropriate to any particular child and children will respond by becoming apathetic or either passively or actively resistant. Then schools are dealing with many recalcitrant children, and a vicious cycle is begun in which schools try one method after another to force learning and children become increasingly resistant.

The problem is a very basic one. It will take a paradigm shift to solve it. The entire education system is based on a faulty premise and my family, and many others like mine, are the proof. The faulty premise is exactly what is stated in the NAEYC ”Children do not become literate automatically; careful planning and instruction are essential.” This is just wrong and the more careful planning and instruction are utilized, the more difficult it seems to become to get children to learn.

Children do not need to be cajoled or forced to learn. The urge to learn is as natural to human children as it is to all other animals, and their learning can be equally joyful, intense, satisfying, and successful. Education “experts” are on the wrong track as they write and rewrite learning objectives, learning standards, or new “student learning outcomes.” They redesign curriculum and they test and test and test again, hoping against hope that the newest educational fad will be the one that works.
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*Here is a link to a summary of the NAEYC paper. I’m not recommending it, just citing it as the source of the quote I used. <http://www.naeyc.org/files/naeyc/file/positions/WWSSLearningToReadAndWriteEnglish.pdf&gt;

Love, Love, Love

Parents do all kinds of things in the name of love….not all good for their children.

Love is not enough.

But there is a kind of love that is absolutely necessary for successful unschooling, and that is love of learning.

Unschoolers value learning. We look for it everywhere. We crave it.

But, love it gently. Don’t try to force it – not a good idea for learning OR love!

 

 

Unschooling is not “Child-Led Learning”

Moody Blues Concert

I do not refer to unschooling as “child-led learning” and I encourage others not to use that term because I think overuse of it has led to some pretty serious misunderstanding of what unschooling is really like.

The term, “child-led learning,” does emphasize something very important – that the child is the learner! I couldn’t agree more. However, it also disregards the significant role played by the parent in helping and supporting and, yes, quite often taking the lead, in the investigation and exploration of the world that is unschooling.

On an unschooling email list, someone once asked if it was “okay” as an unschooler to ask if her child wanted her to read to him. She expressed concern that that was being overly leading – that she should wait for him to ask her, if he was interested. In other words, she thought unschooling should be entirely “child led.”

Questions like this concern me because it is such a distortion and extreme position and far removed from the reality of the unschooling life that my family has lived.

Unschooling is more like a dance between partners who are so perfectly in synch with each other that it is hard to tell who is leading. The partners are sensitive to each others’ little indications, little movements, slight shifts and they respond. Sometimes one leads and sometimes the other.

Asking a child if he wants you to read to him should not be thought about as any different than asking if he wants
to go outside and play pirates or help you bake a cake or wash the dog or play a game.

Unschooling IS very very often comprised of asking if the kids want to do something. That is a HUGE part of unschooling. (Caps for emphasis.)

Unschooling is also strewing – bringing ideas, objects, experiences, opportunities of all kinds into their lives. We don’t force them. We don’t force them. But we certainly offer. And we often recommend, too. And once in a while we say, “I think you should….”.

Unschooling is not child-led learning. Neither is it parent or teacher-led. It is child- focused. It is child-considered. It is child-supporting.

When someone asks if it is okay to ask if their kids want to read with them, I am really worried that they are taking a far far too hands-off approach – a wait-and-see approach – sitting back and waiting for the kids to come up with ideas of what they want to do. Unschooling parents are very involved in offering the world to their child. There is an art to knowing when to back off and when to step up and be actively involved, but even when kids are busily pursuing an interest on their own, unschooling parents are paying attention and readying themselves to offer enhancements or extensions or alternatives, etc.

Calling it “child-led learning” gives the wrong impression. It leads to people thinking unschooling means waiting for a child to tell the parent, “I want to do math.” That’s not at all how it works.